


The Only Water in the Forest is the River

by shnuffeluv



Series: Danger Gays: The Extras [15]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Disaster October | Toby Sanders, Innuendo, M/M, Multi, Other, Phone Calls & Telephones, everything else is pretty much T and under, literally this is rated M because of one (1) boner joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/shnuffeluv
Summary: Yes, the title is a Doctor Who Reference, shut up.It's Toby's turn to come to a realization.
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, October | Toby Sanders/Original Character(s)
Series: Danger Gays: The Extras [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1462492
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	The Only Water in the Forest is the River

The way that Toby’s breathing was panicked over the phone had Remy immediately worrying when he picked it up. “Tobes, is everything okay?” he asked. “Nothing happened to Calvin, did it?”

_ “No, Calvin’s fine,” _ Toby said, but he still sounded hysterical.  _ “I sound that bad?” _

“Worse,” Remy said with a weak smile. “What’s going on, Toby?”

_ “Rem...I’m freaking out, and I don’t know what to do. I didn’t know who else I could go to. I mean, I’m just...I can’t...it’s just...” _

“Toby, take a breath,” Remy instructed. When he had done that successfully, Remy said, “Now, can you tell me what’s up?”

Toby groaned.  _ “Yeah...” _ He took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.  _ “Remy-I’m-not-straight-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-about-it!” _

Remy took a full minute to puzzle out what Toby had just blurted. Then, he started to chuckle disbelievingly. The chuckle turned into a laugh, which soon devolved into panicked wheezing. “Oh my god, Toby, you made me think that someone had died! That’s nothing!”

_ “Maybe to you, man, but this wom—this person, they’re so cute, and I  _ love _ them, man. I don’t know how to ask them out!” _

“Well, you’re using their pronouns and correcting yourself when you trip up, that’s good,” Remy encouraged. “What’s their name?”

_ “River,” _ Toby said. _ “Fuck, Rem, they’re perfect. They’re so sweet, and the way they light up a room when they smile, I’m just head-over-heels, and I didn’t even realize I swung that way!” _

Remy grinned. Emile walked in the room. “Rem, what’s going on?” he asked.

“Toby found himself a  _ partner!” _ Remy said with unholy glee in his voice.

_ “I haven’t even asked them  _ out _ yet, you loon!” _ Toby protested on the phone.

“Toby, you ask them out just like you would anyone else,” Remy said. “And with your looks they’re sure to say yes.”

_ “Not if they’re ace! Or aro! God, what if I make them so uncomfortable asking them out that they never want to talk to me again?!” _

“Toby, breathe!” Remy assured. “The only way you could do that is not respecting them saying ‘no.’ And there’s no way that you would do that! And you know what that means?”

_ “What?” _ Toby asked.

“You still get to be at least friends with them!” Remy said, throwing his free arm out wide. “And if they say yes, well,  _ Toby and River, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” _

_ “Oh, god, Remy—” _

“Don’t deny it, Toby, you are smitten with this River! I heard you talk about them!”

_ “Remy!” _ Toby hissed.

“What?” Remy asked. “Scared that someone will hear you’re not as straight as everyone thought? That you’re at the very least bi or polysexual? Hate to admit it, bro, but the way you talk about River, I can tell you love them.”

_ “Actually, I’m using he/him pronouns today,” _ an unfamiliar voice said over the phone.

Remy turned ash white. “Oh, god. Toby...tell me you weren’t on speakerphone.”

_ “I’ve been at a con all weekend, baby bro, and I thought I had finally lost him but I couldn’t guarantee I’d hear you over the crowd.” _ Toby laughed semi-hysterically.  _ “And I couldn’t get you to shut up.” _

“Oh,  _ goddammit!” _ Remy exclaimed. “Hi, there, River.”

_ “Hello, mysterious phone Remy~” _ River sang.  _ “This your brother, Toby?” _

“I’m genderfluid, but today  _ is _ a he day, so,” Remy shrugged. “You decide.”

River laughed.  _ “I didn’t expect him to be into genderqueer people,” _ he said.

“Neither did I. He came out to me today, because of  _ your _ good looks.”

River laughed and Toby exclaimed,  _ “Lies and slander! Remy, stop flirting with him!” _

“I’m a married man, Toby, you  _ know _ I wouldn’t do anything,” Remy assured.

Emile came over and pressed the speaker button on Remy’s phone. “Yeah, I would never allow it,” he said. “Hello, Toby.”

_ “Hi. Am I allowed to kill your husband? Or maim him at least?” _ Toby asked.

“No,” Emile said. “You’re his brother before I’m his husband, but he  _ chose _ me. I get seniority.”

_ “Damn,” _ Toby laughed.

_ “Don’t kill him, Toby, darling,” _ River said.  _ “Thank him. I’d love to go to dinner with you tonight. Our stalls close at the same time, after all. Sound good?” _

_ “Sounds great!” _ Toby said, but his voice was as strained and panicky as Remy’s was whenever Emile flirted with him unexpectedly.  _ “Remy...I, uh...I gotta go.” _

“I can tell,” Remy laughed. “Just promise me that if you two are together this Thanksgiving, you come over to our house.”

_ “Got it,” _ Toby told him.  _ “And...uh...thank you.” _

“Of course, Toby,” Remy assured him. “Leave it to me to be your wingman, knowingly or not.”

Toby’s laugh at that implied that he was going to get eaten alive.  _ “Yeah. Um. Talk soon.” _

“Talk soon,” Remy said, hanging up.

Emile arched an eyebrow. “Explanation?” he asked.

“Toby’s officially not-straight,” Remy said.

“That I got. What’d he call you for?”

“Asking help asking someone out,” Remy said.

Emile shook his head. “Why’d he call  _ you? _ I’m the one who got us dating, after all.”

“Ha-ha-ha,” Remy said sarcastically. “Whatever. I’m  _ definitely _ the more romantic of the two of us.”

“Care to prove that?” Emile challenged, stepping into Remy’s personal space.

Remy purred, but the two of them were cut short by Dee yelling, “Close the door if you do, Ami!”

Remy turned red and Emile wasn’t much better. “Sorry, Dee!” Emile called out, closing the door. “You like the sound of a potential new guest at Thanksgiving?”

Dee opened the door and gave the two of them a thousand-yard stare. “Only if they’re less horny than you two.”

Remy squeaked and Emile exclaimed, “Out!” after Dee slammed the door closed and lost it laughing. “He’s such a trouble-maker,” Emile grumbled.

“Also not wrong,” Remy admitted. “I’ve still got the hots for you after all these years.”

“I should hope so!” Emile exclaimed. “We are married, after all.”

Remy kissed Emile slowly, and Emile melted as Remy draped his arms over Emile’s shoulders. “Mm, you know what I can feel?” Remy teased.

Dee gagged outside the door. “You two  _ know _ the door isn’t soundproof, right?” Dee asked.

“You know it’s impolite to eavesdrop, right?” Remy shot back. “Or are you ready for ‘the talk’?”

Dee yipped and they heard running down the stairs. Emile and Remy both looked at each other, daring the other to laugh first. Eventually, they both caved at the same time. “Good, he’s gone. Let’s have some time to ourselves,” Emile murmured.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Remy said.

**Author's Note:**

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